Staying close when every moment mattered
Nothing prepares you for the moment your child becomes critically ill.
Just a couple of weeks after our son Benji’s second birthday, he went into full respiratory failure. He was rushed to hospital and, before we had time to process what was happening, transferred to a specialist hospital for treatment. It was one of the most frightening experiences our family has ever faced.
For a time, we genuinely thought we might lose him.
While doctors and nurses fought to stabilise Benji, our family was suddenly trying to navigate everything else that comes with a medical emergency. Our daughter Sienna, who is autistic, was only three and a half years old and struggling with the disruption to her routine. I have a physical disability, neither my wife nor I drive, and alongside the fear of what was happening to Benji, there were practical concerns everywhere we turned.
Where would we stay? How would we afford it? How would we manage travelling back and forth? How could we support both of our children at the same time?
When your child is seriously ill, those worries can become overwhelming.
This is where a room in our Tooting House made the world of difference for the Pursey family.
A place to breathe amid the chaos
We stayed at the Tooting House for 14 days while Benji was in hospital, and honestly, I don’t know how we would have managed without it.
More than accommodation, it gave us a base when everything else felt uncertain. It meant we could stay close to Benji and focus our energy where it was needed most, rather than worrying about logistics, travel or the cost of somewhere to sleep.
During those two weeks, my wife and I worked in shifts around the clock. One of us was always with Benji while the other rested for a few hours before swapping over. Most days we were only at the House long enough to sleep but knowing it was there made all the difference.
The staff were extraordinary.
Whether we were signing in and out in the middle of the day or during a 3am shift change, they were always kind, understanding and genuinely caring. You could tell they weren’t simply doing a job. They truly cared about the families staying there and understood what we were going through.
When you’re exhausted, frightened and running on very little sleep, that kind of compassion means more than people realise.
The little things that stay with you
When I look back now, it’s the small moments that stand out most.
One day, someone knocked on our door with some toys for Sienna. It was such a simple gesture, but her face lit up. In the middle of everything that was happening, she got to be a child for a little while, and that meant so much to us.
The House also allowed family members to stay and help care for her. Because she is autistic, being away from her parents and out of her normal routine would usually have been incredibly difficult. Having trusted family around gave her the consistency she needed and, somehow, for much of those two weeks she thought she was on holiday.
I can’t explain what a relief that was.
Knowing she was happy and being looked after allowed us to focus on Benji without constantly worrying about how she was coping.
The other moment I’ll never forget was the day we finally left.
After two weeks, I was loading the car with all the belongings we’d accumulated during our stay. A member of staff came out and helped me carry everything.
When we’d finished, I hugged her and became emotional.
I didn’t really know her, but I knew how much she and the rest of the team had done for us. During one of the hardest periods of our lives, they had shown us kindness, compassion and support every single day.
That moment has stayed with me ever since.
Being where Benji needed us
For our family, staying close wasn’t just a comfort. It was essential.
Because of Benji’s age and a condition, the medical team often relied on us to help identify when something wasn’t right. We knew his behaviours, his breathing patterns and the subtle signs that he was struggling.
On one occasion, after we’d been reassured that everything was okay, Benji required a second intubation just minutes later.
Experiences like that reinforced how important it was for us to remain by his bedside.
Having somewhere so close to the hospital meant we could be there whenever we were needed. It allowed us to advocate for our son, support the medical team and be present throughout his treatment.
At the same time, it made caring for the rest of our family possible too.
My physical disability is affected by stress, fatigue and long periods of standing, so being able to rest nearby was vital. Without the House, the schedule we kept for two weeks simply would not have been possible physically, emotionally, financially or logistically.
Even now, I genuinely don’t know how we would have managed otherwise.
Knowing you’re not alone
Looking back, Ronald McDonald House UK gave us so much more than a room.
It gave us a place to regroup, to rest and to keep our family together during an incredibly difficult time. Most importantly, it allowed us to stay close to Benji when he needed us most.
As scary and isolating as a hospital admission can feel, one thing we learned is that you are not alone.
If I could say one thing to another family arriving at a Ronald McDonald House for the first time, it would be to accept the support around you. Talk to the staff, talk to other families and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
Everyone there understands that you’re facing one of the hardest moments of your life.
Stay strong and take things one day at a time.
Our family will always be grateful for the support we received. During a time when it felt like our world was falling apart, Ronald McDonald House UK helped us stay together, stay close to our son and find a way through.
That made all the difference.
